5 key ways blind people do it better... What?

One Morning I found myself awake early and wanting to let all my friends and followers in on a big secret. Becoming blind may have been the best thing that happened to me. OMG! For real! Here are a couple of quotes I found that I love.

“Master yourself, and become king of the world around you. Never be a victim of life; be its conqueror.” Mike Norton

"Your competition is not other people but the time you kill, the ill will you create, the knowledge you neglect to learn, the connections you fail to build, the health you sacrifice along the path, your inability to generate ideas, the people around you who don't support and love your efforts." James Altucher

 

The following publication was something I needed to hear that early morning. So I pass it on to you.

(taken from a Blog post that a friend has been publishing for a few years now, her name is Maribel Steel)

5 Key Ways Blind People Do It Better

 

It’s true! Anything sighted people can do, visually-impaired or blind people can do it better! Don’t believe me? This photo was taken of me zipping around an actual race track with other blind drivers in Melbourne – have you been there, done that yet?

I’ll admit, I don’t drive a normal boring car – the tech guys are working on it though, I’m imagining the driverless car will be available for blind people soon. What a bloody hoot! Oops!!

Yes, be warned, we know our limitations and we’ve adapted to this blind-challenge.

Being blind brings a new spin on life. When you accept the ride, you actually find many ways in which to excel, exciting ways in which you can put your ‘foot to the pedal’ and enjoy life to the full. Come and take a back seat and allow us to show YOU the way for a change.

I’m raring to show you five keys to help you navigate through the racetrack of life.

Get ready…set…GO!

 

Key 1: blind people are experts in decision making

We know how to cut down on too many choices and make a decision to save mental energy.

According to research, we all have a limited amount of brain power available to us every day. The more decisions we have to make, the weaker our ability to decide on many aspects of our day. And we can suffer from brain-fatigue too.

The simple act of having to choose between too many options can lead to overload.

When I read this, it became clear to me why as a visually-impaired person, I like to ‘cut to the chase’ and focus on realistic options when I am with sighted people because it allows me to reserve my thinking-battery and be more effective with brain-energy for those other important decisions.

The mere action of getting around is taking up most of my brain and sensory cells in decision making, to stay safe, to negotiate around obstacles, to listen out for sudden changes as I tread carefully around my neighborhood or for example in the supermarket. My shopping list says ‘orange juice’. Please don’t tell me the other fifty shades of orange – I am really content with my original choice of orange juice.

Making a firm decision once we know our options is also liberating for our sighted helpers: we have freed you from feeling overwhelmed by having to tell us every detail in front of your eyes. Let’s keep the wires clear to our thought process and enjoy the decisions we make with confidence.

 

Key 2: blind people are natural problem solvers

Every single day, we are confronted by tasks which would be easier if we could see but our eyes have gone on a long vacation without us so what can we do? We can adapt to seeing the task differently.

Watch how your visually-impaired or blind friend finds creative solutions that meet the task requirement by being resourceful rather than resentful, and good-humored instead of bad tempered.

We problem solve and avoid frustration by looking for alternative methods to achieve a visual task.

Getting from point A to point B without sight requires practiced skills in problem solving, being tenacious, persistent and open to creative solutions.

Asking a blind person directions is not as silly as it sounds because we have already mapped out the route…going my way?

 

Key 3: blind people are natural observers

Gathering detail about our environment is not only in the seeing, it is in the feeling, in the knowing, in the observing of tiny details the eyes can miss because they can’t see for looking. Close your eyes and what happens? Your entire body becomes alert to subtle sensory observation.
We are expert detail detectors because we take notice from a variety of sensory skills.

Our ears hear you, our heart feels for genuine communication or awkward silences, our body alerts us to physical changes, our hands hold a picture of life and our intuition has a clear line to a deep knowing that guides us.
Close your busy-body eyes in a café or any other place as an experiment and see how well you begin to observe so much more. Leave your visual prejudice in the dark and open up to the full experience of observing life differently. We actually do see more in the dark than you realize.

 

Key 4: blind people are awesome time managers

You know the saying, ‘if you want to get a job done, ask a busy person?

This is because they know how to manage the task within realistic time constraints and boy, have we had our share of adapting to visual restrictions.

Losing the ability to see means people who are visually-impaired or blind take much more notice of the time it takes to achieve their tasks.
We have to be realistic in setting our goals and pace ourselves.
Time checks are a regular part of our day: as in preparing for an outing, a meeting, a deadline, cooking for our family, organizing our children for school.
We have learned the essential skill of keeping time so we can saunter through our task with good old Father Time.
He’s got all the time in the world for each one of us – so take his hand, the minute one or the hour one and be realistic when setting deadlines.
Notice the grace and skill of the blind person who manages time wisely and you too can enjoy the time of your life – every second of it!

 

Key 5: blind people are ambassadors for living life to the full

You may not think it possible to rediscover the joy in life when you are losing more of your sight or when you have to face the frightening reality of impending blindness. Your life is never going to be the same, it is true, but it’s going to be different, not necessarily worse.
People who are visually-impaired or blind wake up every morning alongside their sighted loved ones with the same desires: to be happy, to be fulfilled, to be at peace, to feel a sense of belonging, to want to contribute to our families wellbeing, to feel safe and secure emotionally and physically, to take our place in the world, so why would anyone see the one weak part of their life as the whole part of who they are?
I won’t deny it has taken many bumps and bruises to my ego and much effort and soul-searching to understand this ‘blind-life’ but what I have discovered is a real treasure: being blind doesn’t stop anyone from enjoying a fulfilled life.
It’s the choice and decisions we take that can keep us striding onwards like ambassadors for life. Come take our hand and the blind will show you the way to find courage and how to keep your face to the sun even on a cloudy day.
After all, it’s the life we were born to live, so we might as well make it the best one we can…

 

There you have five ways to see how blind people do it better. I have more in draft but for now, we’d love to hear other key ways from your own experiences…

Yes! When I move to Melbourne, the first thing I want to do is find that race track and drive a car there myself. No kidding! LOL

Love Sarah XOXO

My Three Sarahs

Sarah thought it would a good idea to show everyone a back to back comparison of how her appearance has changed over the last three or four years. At first I didn't understand what she was trying to show us. When I first saw the amount of photos she had, I thought this could be a hard Blog to write. But as you can see, they really do tell a story about what she has gone through these last few years. Her life altering struggles were many but her persistance and positive approch to her recovery has paid off. You, my friend, are a strong and beautiful woman. 

Marion XOXO



Here I am skinny, tan and happy on a fun holiday
adventure back in 2012.



By the third month of my second pregnancy
I had put on a lot of weight. My body was changing
every hour of every day with a lot more change to come.

 

It has been almost 4 months now after my second son's birth
and I have lost most of that extra weight and feeling wonderful.



Good Bye Michael. I honestly hope you find happiness in your new life. Our sons will have wonderful lives if we work extra hard to make that happen for them. I am planning on having a beautiful and joyful life myself.
The Past doesn't define me. The Present does.

 

Say Hello to Baby Joe

Everyone who saw him said he looks like me. Several said he sounds like me when he cries. Which he does a lot.  I’m not sure if they were implying that I cry too much, but that was certainly funny to me . I would have to say that he was really in a rush to be born and get on with this business of living. My twin sister Dorothy was amazed how easy this labor was. I laughed loudly when he came out. The doctor said that I should do this more often it was so easy. It’s was kind of surreal and amazing how that comment sounded to me. My plan all along was to have a large family. But that was before I became blind. I think now that before I have any more babies, I better figure out how I am going to take care of the two I already have.

If you are wondering what I’m going on about, I better go back to the beginning of this day. Saturday the fourteenth of February was Valentine’s Day. A really good day to have a baby it turned out. Shortly before 5 am, I started getting strong contractions. My sister and a neighbor drove me to Royal Hobart Hospital not a minute too soon. Within an hour, and a little screaming, my second boy was crying in my arms. His name is Joseph Valentine Goldstein. He acquired the nickname of Bump early on in the pregnancy and several of my friends still call him that. He was kind of underweight at just over four pounds, but very frisky. My best friend who was there for the whole event, was a bit shocked and amazed about how small he was and crying loudly all the time, reaching out and kicking. Josephs face was very red. My friends face was very gray I’m told.

Giving birth to a baby while being blind was a very different experience than I had anticipated. I thought I would miss not being able to see him but the feelings, sounds and even the smells of the whole process made up for that big time. The joy I felt while holding his warm, wet pulsating body along with the sound of his voice crying was way more satisfying then I thought it would be. Along with that, I was able to pick up on the emotions of everyone who was present in the delivery room. An unexpected gift from my remaining senses taking in this miracle experience. Kind of like being in the middle of an orchestra during a big concert. During those first few hours after he came out, I craved holding him so much. When he was not in my arms, I was the one crying. An unbelievable bonding time that I don’t remember having with my first child. I’m not saying Joe is my favorite. I just think that this time the experience was a whole lot deeper. I’m beginning to wonder if sight was somehow a distraction from the other senses with Cleo’s birth. A secret and unexpected realization of being blind. Who would have thought that possible.

Everyone present had either a camera or a mobile phone that could take pictures. The commotion of snapping photos, getting the proper angles & posing with Joe was a major part of the whole scene. We all got together after the third day and sorted through a large assortment of photos on three laptops. Not being able to participate in the picture viewing part of that picture party as it was later called was an interesting experience for me. Friends and family gave me quite a laugh over those pictures. Oh! Wow, That one is so cute. Ah! That is so pretty.  Every statement said either started with ooh or ah. Looking at baby pictures makes people act very different compared to most any other time. I never noticed that before now. After eliminating most of the photos they looked over, the picture party settled on perhaps twenty of the best shots. Some of this top picks are posted here for your viewing and comment.

Cleo got to see his new brother on the second day. By the way he sounded and responded to this new person, I felt confident that they will bond together and learn to share their mother. These two will become a strong and supporting team I’m sure. Without any problem, they settled on which side of their mom was theirs, Cleo on my left. Joe on my right. Two sets of mouths and lips each knowing what to do when hunger strikes. How do I describe how that feels and sounds. Words seem to fail me but what I can tell you is the warmth of those two bodies next to mine and their beating hearts was as close to true contentment that I've ever felt. Dorothy said that after their lunch, they looked like they were happy to be together sharing the same small bed. Each fell asleep there together in that bed side by side. Joe decided to stop crying because his big brother was there to comfort him. Cleo was the brother who cried when it was his time to leave for home. I cried to.

I find that it’s hard to think about having any more children. There are a lot of things to consider. As most of you know by now, this has been a difficult nine months. There have been a lot of changes in my life that were unexpected, to say the least. My main goal right now is to take care of these two small boys, keep a roof over their heads, food on the table, and help them grow into happy, responsible adults. It’s not going to be easy. All three of us will be learning how to get it done. With all the friends and family that I have beside me, I am confident that it can be done. I have always been a positive person. Some day in the future I may have another child. Who knows. The boys could use a sister. Right now I just need to keep my focus on what I can accomplish for myself and my boys, and be wise enough to ask for help when I cant. I need to get healthier, loose weight and learn to be the best parent I can. I need to reach out for a happy future. I believe in the power of happiness.  There will always be times to worry, but just for today, we are content.

Happy Valentine's Day from me and the boys!

Twin Sisters

My twin sister Dorothy is finally here with me and I’m overjoyed. She flew into town yesterday evening. Marion drove me to the airport to meet up with her and welcome her to Hobart. Even though I could not see her come through that gate and it was noisy, I knew she was approaching me. We were locked in a hug and crying for what Marion says was at least six minutes if not longer. That’s the way twins can be. That’s the way we are when we come together after a long time apart; and the last time we were together I still had my sight. After I introduced her to Marion, we talked non-stop the whole drive back to the house. Joseph was happy Dorothy was here also because he bumped and kicked up a storm the whole time. She was excited to see Cleo at eight months even though she saw resent pictures of him. Dorothy has a special bond with Cleo because she helped bring him into this world. Dorothy is a Midwife by profession which every family should have if they are planning on having a lot of children.  My sister wasn't going to miss out on Joseph’s birth so she is back to take charge. I welcome all the help I can get when it comes to my children.

We are like little kids again back in Vancouver. A harmony of laughing, crying, and loud talking barely stopping to take a breath. A lot has happened in the last eight months for us to catch up on. After about a half a day of this she fell silent and I knew why. I broke the silent tension first when I asked her if she wanted to know what happened that caused all my health problems. She answered that she knew the details of what happened and has seen the pictures. She wanted to know how it felt to live through it. I think only someone as close as a twin sister would want to share that kind of experience. She wrapped her arms around me and said it’s going to be okay now sis. I let down my guard and we cried together. Additional words were not needed. Being strong about myself is one thing. Being okay with it all is a lot harder. I can’t hide anything from my sister. I wonder why I keep trying.

Dorothy's reunion with 8 month old Baby Cleo

Dorothy is here not just to help with my babies. She is here to be with me. I may think that I have it all together and have plenty of help already but I would just be lying to myself. I need my twin to be with me to help me feel more whole. Strength in numbers is the way to go. I know she has a life of her own and she made the choice to be here for the next six months. I need to be honest with her and myself about how guilty I feel about her being here away from her family for that amount of time. we talked about that and I feel better. She asked me if there was anything more I was stressing about. We laughed about that question when I said the rest will come out when it’s ready I’m sure. After all, I just can’t hide anything from my sister and for that I am truly grateful. Besides, she can’t hide anything from me either. I will know by how she talks and how she breaths ifshe isn't telling me everything. I always have. I don’t need eyes to see that.

Now don’t get the impression that all is happy and wonderful between us. We have fought some good fights before. The last big battle was, at least in part, why I moved to Australia. We didn't speak to each other for almost five months after I left home. It was only when Dad almost died in a car crash that we started talking to each other again. These kind of things happen for a reason. We have learned to love each other on a deeper level despite what happens between us or around us. We are deeply invested in each other’s happiness and well-being. We will always fight over something because we care. We will always look out for each other’s best interest and not be afraid to share an opinion. Plenty of stuff will find its way out of the closet I’m sure. A cleansing of secrets for the both of us.  I am blessed to have Dorothy here and I’m not afraid to admit feeling a little selfish she came to be with me. Cleo & his brother will love her as much as I do because they have the best Aunt ever.

So now begins the last days of this crazy pregnancy. Time for us to further define our relationship with each other before Joseph Bump Goldstein makes his entrance into this world. Everything is pretty much in place now and waiting for him. Being a mother of two boys is not going to be easy but I am willing to learn how it’s done. I have plenty of supporting friends ready and now my sister is here to.  My co-Captain Dorothy and the rest of the team are now set and ready to go.

Love the children of this world. Sarah xx

   

My best friend!

It’s Sunday afternoon the 11^th of January 2015. On the 28th of December, I said good bye to my best friend Layla as she walked away, on her way up the ramp toward her plane heading home to Perth. The tears still linger from our departing hug. It was a mixed two weeks with her here. Joy, pain & reunion are three words that describe this visit best. Hers was the last face I saw just before I had that seventh eye surgery that took the last of my remaining sight. Her hand was the first I held after I awoke afterward. A friendship like ours includes both good times and bad. Happy hellos and angry good byes, adventures in a motorhome, laughs and tears, never ending phone calls and emails. Time spent together and time apart on separate coasts. Our kind of link is made from gold. Best friends sense 2009.

We met in Brisbane at Queensland University where I worked as a student housing coordinator. She was a new International student fresh off the plane from the US looking for a place to stay. We saw each other again that same day at the University Java Cafe where we lunched, talked and laughed till late that night. We have been friends sense that first day. The next day we met up again because she wanted to get her hair cut and dyed blonde. She was away from home for the first time and wanted to experience the freedom to do things her way. I knew someone who would do all that on a student’s budget and was reliable. I entered her name into a raffle for a years pass to the University Café’s free lunch menu that the University offers only to one new student a year. Of course she won because I had connections with the guy who did the raffle each year. He also gave her a Beer Card for the University’s Pub. She took a liking to the Australian style Lambs Pie served on Fridays, so we hooked up every week for that as a start to our weekend fun. I knew someone at a nearby Children’s Petting Zoo who needed someone to work evenings with the animals and got Layla that first job away from home. She worked hard at both her classes and at work often feeling discouraged by the amount of hours she had to put into it all. I became her Attitude Coach and encouraged her to keep herself organized and focused on her goals. She was always grateful for all the help I provided. I often told her we were a team and we would get her thru her classes together. After that first quarter I had decided that I liked coaching people through tough times enough to start my own Web business doing the same thing for paying clients. My favorite reimbursement was always Layla’s smile and latest X rated joke every Friday over that Lamb Pie. We carried on this weekly ritual for two more quarters. She was winning honors for her achievements from her professors. By the end of her fourth quarter she won an opportunity to transfer to UWA (University of Western Australia in Perth) to continue her Studies in advanced specialized animal behavior. I was torn with the prospect of watching her leave for the opposite coast so far away but I wanted her to reach for this new goal and do even greater things on her own. The day she had her hair dyed back to its natural color I knew she made that decision to move to Perth. She was ready to do all this on her own. We enjoyed a last minute party together before she flew west. We have been exchanging emails and phone calls on an almost daily basis sense than.

Within a week after Layla moved to Perth, I met Michael at a party my boss had at the beach. When I called Layla and told her about him, she said that it was about time I found someone else to coach to greatness, ha ha. Michael was also living away from his big family for the first time and looked like a lost puppy. I finally encouraged him to accept a job opportunity that his family offered him. A decision that he couldn’t quite decide on his own as it turned out. Layla said he maybe someone worth keeping around, so I did. By the Spring of 2013 Michael and I were engaged and planning our wedding. We had crazy fights and postponed the marriage twice because we were not able to make decisions without getting angry at each other. I thought it was over when Layla suggested I get away from him for a few weeks and come visit her. I decided to rent a motorhome and drove it myself from Brisbane to Perth across country over three days. Layla and I soon set out on one of the craziest and funniest road trips ever. An adventure that I will always hold close to my heart.  We drove along the southern coast back from Perth through sand storms, hot days, beach parties, big cities, fun, fun, fun. One hot afternoon we stopped at a rundown diner in the middle of the desert where I called Michael and told him I would marry him and be his good Jewish wife. Layla laughed about that during our dinner that night. By the time we got back to my house in Brisbane, Michael was waiting for me with my small dog Pepper all smiles. Layla flew home the next day her job complete. The marriage was on again, planning things this time without any fighting. Michael and I went to the Philippines for our own vacation together soon afterward. Our marriage was that Fall in a private resort by ourselves away from everyone as Layla suggested. Of course I sent tons of emails and pictures to my best friend. Who wouldn’t. About nine months later Cleo became the third member to my new family. Layla will always be a God Mother to all my children whether she wants to or not.

This past year has to be the craziest year of my life so far. Soon after giving birth to my first son, we learned I was pregnant again with my second. This pregnancy has resulted in an up and down last seven months. Happy with life and healthy at first, I soon started to have serious health issues where I would gain weight, and develop swelling of my legs and arms. Thin to begin with, I began to lose my hair in handfuls. By June I was diagnosed with Alopecia. By October I was completely bald, fat and having vision problems with headaches. In November they found a tumor pressing against my optic nerve that had to come out. Lots of pain, anguish, and several procedures later, I am now totally blind in both eyes. I will never know what my two sons will look like as grown men. I will never again be able to see the sunset, flowers, Michael's face or my best friend. My second son Joseph is due to be born in February sometime. An event I happily anticipate. I don't blame any of my troubles of this last year on him. My health problems are not his fault. He is my golden child to be.  Layla my best friend and God Mother to my boys has promised them her love and care if ever called upon. Michael has expressed his love and devotion to their welfare and will be the best father to the both of them ever. My sister is due in town to help out this month also. After these last two weeks together with my best friend, I know I will be okay. I will live on with confidence, care for my sons and enjoy life with the help of Layla, Michael and my other close friends and family.

Thank you, Layla for your friendship and happy new year. You are the best.

Sarah xx

My best friend Layla playing Santa.

Layla and I in 2009, both blonde.

Last week, both brunettes.