Everyone who saw him said he looks like me. Several said he sounds like me when he cries. Which he does a lot. I’m not sure if they were implying that I cry too much, but that was certainly funny to me . I would have to say that he was really in a rush to be born and get on with this business of living. My twin sister Dorothy was amazed how easy this labor was. I laughed loudly when he came out. The doctor said that I should do this more often it was so easy. It’s was kind of surreal and amazing how that comment sounded to me. My plan all along was to have a large family. But that was before I became blind. I think now that before I have any more babies, I better figure out how I am going to take care of the two I already have.
If you are wondering what I’m going on about, I better go back to the beginning of this day. Saturday the fourteenth of February was Valentine’s Day. A really good day to have a baby it turned out. Shortly before 5 am, I started getting strong contractions. My sister and a neighbor drove me to Royal Hobart Hospital not a minute too soon. Within an hour, and a little screaming, my second boy was crying in my arms. His name is Joseph Valentine Goldstein. He acquired the nickname of Bump early on in the pregnancy and several of my friends still call him that. He was kind of underweight at just over four pounds, but very frisky. My best friend who was there for the whole event, was a bit shocked and amazed about how small he was and crying loudly all the time, reaching out and kicking. Josephs face was very red. My friends face was very gray I’m told.
Giving birth to a baby while being blind was a very different experience than I had anticipated. I thought I would miss not being able to see him but the feelings, sounds and even the smells of the whole process made up for that big time. The joy I felt while holding his warm, wet pulsating body along with the sound of his voice crying was way more satisfying then I thought it would be. Along with that, I was able to pick up on the emotions of everyone who was present in the delivery room. An unexpected gift from my remaining senses taking in this miracle experience. Kind of like being in the middle of an orchestra during a big concert. During those first few hours after he came out, I craved holding him so much. When he was not in my arms, I was the one crying. An unbelievable bonding time that I don’t remember having with my first child. I’m not saying Joe is my favorite. I just think that this time the experience was a whole lot deeper. I’m beginning to wonder if sight was somehow a distraction from the other senses with Cleo’s birth. A secret and unexpected realization of being blind. Who would have thought that possible.
Everyone present had either a camera or a mobile phone that could take pictures. The commotion of snapping photos, getting the proper angles & posing with Joe was a major part of the whole scene. We all got together after the third day and sorted through a large assortment of photos on three laptops. Not being able to participate in the picture viewing part of that picture party as it was later called was an interesting experience for me. Friends and family gave me quite a laugh over those pictures. Oh! Wow, That one is so cute. Ah! That is so pretty. Every statement said either started with ooh or ah. Looking at baby pictures makes people act very different compared to most any other time. I never noticed that before now. After eliminating most of the photos they looked over, the picture party settled on perhaps twenty of the best shots. Some of this top picks are posted here for your viewing and comment.
Cleo got to see his new brother on the second day. By the way he sounded and responded to this new person, I felt confident that they will bond together and learn to share their mother. These two will become a strong and supporting team I’m sure. Without any problem, they settled on which side of their mom was theirs, Cleo on my left. Joe on my right. Two sets of mouths and lips each knowing what to do when hunger strikes. How do I describe how that feels and sounds. Words seem to fail me but what I can tell you is the warmth of those two bodies next to mine and their beating hearts was as close to true contentment that I've ever felt. Dorothy said that after their lunch, they looked like they were happy to be together sharing the same small bed. Each fell asleep there together in that bed side by side. Joe decided to stop crying because his big brother was there to comfort him. Cleo was the brother who cried when it was his time to leave for home. I cried to.
I find that it’s hard to think about having any more children. There are a lot of things to consider. As most of you know by now, this has been a difficult nine months. There have been a lot of changes in my life that were unexpected, to say the least. My main goal right now is to take care of these two small boys, keep a roof over their heads, food on the table, and help them grow into happy, responsible adults. It’s not going to be easy. All three of us will be learning how to get it done. With all the friends and family that I have beside me, I am confident that it can be done. I have always been a positive person. Some day in the future I may have another child. Who knows. The boys could use a sister. Right now I just need to keep my focus on what I can accomplish for myself and my boys, and be wise enough to ask for help when I cant. I need to get healthier, loose weight and learn to be the best parent I can. I need to reach out for a happy future. I believe in the power of happiness. There will always be times to worry, but just for today, we are content.
Happy Valentine's Day from me and the boys!
